Friday, October 18, 2013
Obstacles
I caught my boyfriend cheating this month. He just couldn't help himself. I don't hold grudges because I cheated too. The scale called and we just couldn't resist its charm. #sorryimnotsorry
We started Whole30 one week ago. We weighed ourselves before we began and weren't going to weigh ourselves until the 30 days were over. But we gave in and curiosity got the best of us. I was pleasantly surprised! After just a few days I had already lost weight. This Whole 30 thing is hard, real hard.
Whole 30 is extreme paleo (if you don't know what the paleo diet is, google it. It's far too much to explain and I'm sure the interwebs will explain it better than I do). On Whole 30 you refrain from eating the following: corn, legumes (including beans, peanuts and peanut butter), processed foods, sugar (also no honey, agave, stevia, or other artificial sweeteners), no white potatoes, NO DAIRY (boo), and no grains (rice, quinoa, etc).
What this means is you can eat plenty of: lean meats, veggies, fruits (in moderation only), eggs a plenty and good fats (avocado, ghee, nuts, coconut butter). Remember, fat does not make you fat.
What's that? You don't believe me? Research it.
Fats like a McDonald's hamburger and fries make you fat. All the processed crap in it, tons of added sugars and fillers, they make you fat. Eating an entire avocado with your dinner will not make you fat. In fact on Whole 30 it's ENCOURAGED. Talk about heaven.
The first week was rough. There was one day where I spent my entire lunch sitting next to a cake in the lounge at work. A cake. Delicious cake. All that sugar. Mmm. But what's funny is it didn't bother me as much as it would have in the past. When I used to "diet" all the time I'd be desperately trying to stick to 1200 calories a day (while working out) and constantly fight that hungry gnawing in my belly. I failed time and time again. I would have caved and easily eaten some cake and would have felt horrible afterward.
On Whole 30 I'm completely FREE from counting calories. In fact I don't need to pay attention to my macros at all. I eat for fuel. I eat and feel satisfied. Do I miss stuff? You bet. Do I get really dog tired after working all day and knowing I not only need to cook a real dinner, but that I need to cook lunch for the next day as well? Oh god yes. There have been plenty of days where I wanted to throw in the towel this week but I kept pushing on.
Why? Why for gods sake to I do this to myself?!? (I've asked myself that too. Its okay if you think I'm crazy. Really, I won't blame you)
I push on because I am the only obstacle standing in my way. I am the only roadblock on my journey to fitness and health and success. This is a FACT. And this goes for you too. Yes YOU. Maybe there's something in your life that you want. It could be a better job. A bigger house. To lose weight. You're the only one stopping yourself.
Instead of cursing me out, just listen will ya?
In a world of ease, a world of quick results and fast times, we all expect things to be easy. I mean, when we are hungry there's fast food on every corner. When we want results with fitness I'm sure there's some gimmick out there that swears they can give you what you want in 6 weeks. Just drink these shakes a few meals a day! Do this program! Buy this preboost and weight loss tea! Try this cleanse! But let me tell you, you need to be ready to put in the effort to reap the rewards and in most cases it needs to be a life change!
I used to try all the new programs. I used to try all the new diets. I'd weigh myself obsessively and wonder what I was doing wrong because I was "trying so hard". But the truth is I wasn't. I wasn't giving myself my all because I was afraid. Because I was lazy. Because I wanted to blame my failures or lack of progress on someone else. But things just don't work that way. I just learned this and it was enlightening! When I go to the gym it's me vs me. I am competing with myself. I push myself to get stronger. I push myself to do better. I push myself to run further and faster. Because really, if I'm not seeing results it's purely my fault and no one else's. For fitness, part of it is working out but an even bigger part is nutrition. I'm challenging myself to stick to Whole 30, changing my mindset about food, continuing to create new recipes and ideas. It feels good to challenge myself! It's incredible to find out what I'm capable of!
That being said, if you want something you need to be willing to change and be willing to go for it. Stop getting in your own way. Even if progress is slow (money put away in savings starting at $5 a month, or weight loss at 2# a month) it's STILL PROGRESS. Life is a journey. What's beautiful about it is its YOUR JOURNEY. You get to decide if you want to succeed, or if you want to stay where you're at. Either way enjoy the process and the journey.
On a side note here's another update: my hair has begun to fall out again. Big time. I relapsed into a bad habit and counted hairs. I got past 100 and had to stop. I lost about as much while brushing my hair post shower. I cried a lot. It was the first time I had cried like that over my hair in quite some time. Despite this setback I'm still focusing on the positive changes I'm making in my life over the things I DO have control of. Reminds me of the serenity prayer my dad used to say a lot. While I don't believe in god I still find it helpful.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
That's all for now.
Namaste. Or some other hippy fair thee well.
Xo
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Breaking up
So, I sort of broke up with my scale this past month. Proud you are? Yes, me too.
I'd like to think that I'm finally learning something new about myself. I'm undoing years and years of bad habits and bad feelings. Its refreshing. It's exhilarating. It's FREEING. Let me break it down for you like a 12 step program.
First you get up early and workout. You start doing this more and more every week. Soon you are nearly addicted to the way you feel when you sweat. You start off loathing the early morning workouts but soon you look forward to them. (Initially I would exercise late morning and after a few weeks I started jumping into a workout the moment I got up.)
Second you start going to the gym with your awesome BFF who has unlimited guest passes to a pretty snazzy (not to mention non threatening) gym. You start with 20 minutes of cardio machines and finish with a circuit of weights. You feel like the worlds biggest wimp but hey, you did more than the person sitting on the couch reading this. (sorry, that would be you. And I love you. And you may have worked out today, I'm just generalizing here! Okay?!)
Third you decide (because your boyfriend is amazing) to get your own gym membership. You feel empowered. You are now the owner of a keychain with your membership number, a t-shirt with the gym name, and 50% off of all drinks in the machines at the gym. LOOK AT YOU GO. (Theres even unlimited tanning booths but you learn, sadly, that if you don't tan from the real sun that you wont tan from the fake one. Damn.)
Fourth you start going to the gym. Not just twice weekly with your bff, but now 5 days a week with whoever wants to go (or often you go alone). You do 30 minutes minimum of cardio. You work the weight machines. You start to explore.
Fifth you start running. Now I don't mean a run for your life because its the god damned zombie apocalypse type running. I mean like a turtle through peanut butter you just somehow start to put one foot in front of the other and cover a distance. Your mile time is just over 13 minutes. That's a 5 minute improvement from weeks ago. You again feel empowered. LOOK AT YOU.
Somewhere around the 5th step is where I broke up with my scale. Despite all these wondrous things I had accomplished, the scale was not budging. Maybe it would go down two tenths of a pound here and there (and often would jump back up), it really wasn't changing enough to celebrate over. The old me would throw in the towel. The old me would call this a failure. And the old me almost (ALMOST) won this war. But thanks to my boyfriend I have evolved into the new me. NEW AND IMPROVED!
The sixth step is you keep going to the gym to work out. You even go on days you don't feel great. Maybe you slept poorly or are getting the booger monsters cold. Regardless you get your ass into workout clothes and you drive to the gym. Your mile time is now 11:30! Go speed racer!
Seventh is when you start to realize you are lifting 20 pounds heavier on some machines than you were just two weeks ago. Somewhere you realize you started to leg press 130 pounds with ease. Somewhere around this step you realize you are getting stronger and damn it feels good.
Eighth is when you pick up a labrador from a car with a coworker and realize you don't need to grunt, strain, or get out of breath to help carry it into the hospital from the parking lot. Later in the same day you lift another labrador on your own and do so with ease. No back strain, peeing your pants, or pain. LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME! WHAT A BEAST!
During this time you work on the double digit tenth step. This is where you stop trying to minimize your caloric intake and start to JERF! (*clears throat* it means Just Eat Real Food) You focus on eating real things - like lean meats, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and you do this with ease. You no longer feel like a failure every time you put food in your mouth. You are now eating to live and eating to fuel your body.
...
There are still two more steps. I don't know what they are yet but god damn it I am ready for them. The whole point of me saying any of this is to say that despite the fact that I haven't lost dramatic weight, I feel incredible. I have gone down 2 belt holes, can lift heavy things, and have more energy than I've had in a long time. My moods are even, I feel accomplished. I feel like I can take on the world.
Change doesn't happen unless you are ready for it. Like really really ready. I had heard that so many times before and always thought I was ready, but I never truly was. All I wanted was a quick fix to my problems with little effort. I always thought I was putting in maximum effort but I now know that its not true. This change that is happening to me (#transformation, thank you instagram and my #fitfam) is going to take a while. Years even. But its worth it. Stick with it people. And stick around to hear how things progress from here.
**For more information about my eating, please use google and look up some stuff! Paleo diet, JERF, whole 30 (which I am not actively doing, but it gives you a good idea at what I'm striving for). CUT OUT THE JUNK and processed food! I promise you that you will feel better! For me it started with trying to go gluten free, and just progressed to cutting the shit out altogether (as opposed to just replacing gluten containing foods with other non gluten processed foods). Try this. You'll thank me. It isn't hard. It really isn't. I used to be someone who would fail at every diet out there. I now feel satisfied and happy with what I eat. :) I mean it, with my whole heart.
I'd like to think that I'm finally learning something new about myself. I'm undoing years and years of bad habits and bad feelings. Its refreshing. It's exhilarating. It's FREEING. Let me break it down for you like a 12 step program.
First you get up early and workout. You start doing this more and more every week. Soon you are nearly addicted to the way you feel when you sweat. You start off loathing the early morning workouts but soon you look forward to them. (Initially I would exercise late morning and after a few weeks I started jumping into a workout the moment I got up.)
Second you start going to the gym with your awesome BFF who has unlimited guest passes to a pretty snazzy (not to mention non threatening) gym. You start with 20 minutes of cardio machines and finish with a circuit of weights. You feel like the worlds biggest wimp but hey, you did more than the person sitting on the couch reading this. (sorry, that would be you. And I love you. And you may have worked out today, I'm just generalizing here! Okay?!)
Third you decide (because your boyfriend is amazing) to get your own gym membership. You feel empowered. You are now the owner of a keychain with your membership number, a t-shirt with the gym name, and 50% off of all drinks in the machines at the gym. LOOK AT YOU GO. (Theres even unlimited tanning booths but you learn, sadly, that if you don't tan from the real sun that you wont tan from the fake one. Damn.)
Fourth you start going to the gym. Not just twice weekly with your bff, but now 5 days a week with whoever wants to go (or often you go alone). You do 30 minutes minimum of cardio. You work the weight machines. You start to explore.
Fifth you start running. Now I don't mean a run for your life because its the god damned zombie apocalypse type running. I mean like a turtle through peanut butter you just somehow start to put one foot in front of the other and cover a distance. Your mile time is just over 13 minutes. That's a 5 minute improvement from weeks ago. You again feel empowered. LOOK AT YOU.
Somewhere around the 5th step is where I broke up with my scale. Despite all these wondrous things I had accomplished, the scale was not budging. Maybe it would go down two tenths of a pound here and there (and often would jump back up), it really wasn't changing enough to celebrate over. The old me would throw in the towel. The old me would call this a failure. And the old me almost (ALMOST) won this war. But thanks to my boyfriend I have evolved into the new me. NEW AND IMPROVED!
The sixth step is you keep going to the gym to work out. You even go on days you don't feel great. Maybe you slept poorly or are getting the booger monsters cold. Regardless you get your ass into workout clothes and you drive to the gym. Your mile time is now 11:30! Go speed racer!
Seventh is when you start to realize you are lifting 20 pounds heavier on some machines than you were just two weeks ago. Somewhere you realize you started to leg press 130 pounds with ease. Somewhere around this step you realize you are getting stronger and damn it feels good.
Eighth is when you pick up a labrador from a car with a coworker and realize you don't need to grunt, strain, or get out of breath to help carry it into the hospital from the parking lot. Later in the same day you lift another labrador on your own and do so with ease. No back strain, peeing your pants, or pain. LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME! WHAT A BEAST!
During this time you work on the double digit tenth step. This is where you stop trying to minimize your caloric intake and start to JERF! (*clears throat* it means Just Eat Real Food) You focus on eating real things - like lean meats, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and you do this with ease. You no longer feel like a failure every time you put food in your mouth. You are now eating to live and eating to fuel your body.
...
There are still two more steps. I don't know what they are yet but god damn it I am ready for them. The whole point of me saying any of this is to say that despite the fact that I haven't lost dramatic weight, I feel incredible. I have gone down 2 belt holes, can lift heavy things, and have more energy than I've had in a long time. My moods are even, I feel accomplished. I feel like I can take on the world.
Change doesn't happen unless you are ready for it. Like really really ready. I had heard that so many times before and always thought I was ready, but I never truly was. All I wanted was a quick fix to my problems with little effort. I always thought I was putting in maximum effort but I now know that its not true. This change that is happening to me (#transformation, thank you instagram and my #fitfam) is going to take a while. Years even. But its worth it. Stick with it people. And stick around to hear how things progress from here.
**For more information about my eating, please use google and look up some stuff! Paleo diet, JERF, whole 30 (which I am not actively doing, but it gives you a good idea at what I'm striving for). CUT OUT THE JUNK and processed food! I promise you that you will feel better! For me it started with trying to go gluten free, and just progressed to cutting the shit out altogether (as opposed to just replacing gluten containing foods with other non gluten processed foods). Try this. You'll thank me. It isn't hard. It really isn't. I used to be someone who would fail at every diet out there. I now feel satisfied and happy with what I eat. :) I mean it, with my whole heart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)