So here I am, weeks after wanting to start this blog and nothing has really changed. My weight this morning is 207.4, which isn't a real big change. I had tried to start the whole "diet challenge" during Memorial Day weekend, which was the worst idea... EVER.

First off it's my dad's birthday weekend, which means I get all sad and moody and eat crap. I know, bad habit (emotional eating) but for my dad it's just gotta be that way. He was a BBQ lover and I always eat something BBQ related around his birthday.

Secondly, Memorial Day Weekend at PC is always ALWAYS craaaazy busy. Try exercising 6 days in a row when you work at a place where you are walking (er, more like RUNNING) around for 10+ hours straight each day (most of those days without lunches). You end up waaayyyy too tired and way too sore to exercise. Point is, I worked over 106 hours during the last two weeks of May and finding time to exercise in there (let alone breathe) was pretty hard.

Today is June 10th. I've had a cup of coffee so far today (with fat free creamer I might add) and nothing yet to eat. I think I'm going to start the day off with a Jamba Juice smoothie (frozen packs from costco), which isn't bad! I'm seriously lacking motivation this morning though, in terms of exercising. Between the housework and the laundry (oh and keeping DS and DD happy and entertained) I'm out of juice. Keep your fingers crossed that I find the time and energy to dance my chunky ass around the house to burn some calories.

Smoothie time! And maybe even some exercise time afterward. Decisions, decisions. I just wanted to post (in case anyone is reading... hello, are you out there?) and show that I'm alive, I'm still fat, and that I'm still trying. J's been doing some crazy leangains plan (starve.. I mean fast... for hours, then uber protein and few carbs, then more starving) and he has lost some weight. He's also lifting and has promised to show me how to lift (just the bar). I will be a savage beast by the end of summer I swear! hahaha oh god, the visual is too much.

Salads for suckers

I'm sitting here at work, during a crazy day, and I'm eating a salad. God damn it, I don't want a salad today. I went to bed too late last night (own fault) and then slept like crap (do not watch world news before bed) and I'm grumpy. And when I'm grumpy and tired the last thing I want to eat is a salad. Don't get me wrong - the salad TASTES good. The dressing is killer (light Girard's champagne, it's the best). But when you're rockin and rollin off of 6 hours (or less) of sleep on a busy day at work you just want CARBS! And I mean JUNK CARBS like cookies and snack mixes and heaven forbid - doughnuts! Eating salad when you're tired, at least for me, is like torture. I'd almost rather not eat, but then again I'd be even MORE grumpy without eating.

My stomach is a little upset today thanks to sharing J's late night nachos (hey, I only ate a little). I think that was part of why I was unable to sleep as well because of that wonderful thing called acid reflux. I almost skipped coffee this morning but then realized I was having a crazy moment. I drank some at home and then late this morning I went to Louie's. I got myself a NF iced white mocha and damn it tasted so good. I needed something. So sue me!

No roller derby for me tonight. I realized this morning that today is my dad's birthday - which means I will be celebrating his life at home. I really wanted to BBQ but it's late notice and I have no idea where to get good BBQ in this city! Maybe I'll just make a chocolate cake... and only eat 1 piece!

End of day 1

It's nearing the end of day 1 for me. What a day it has been! I'm having chronic headaches again and today was very painful! I got two terrible headaches back to back. As soon as the first went away I got the second. They were not mild either. Having chronic pain makes it hard to get through a day with two happy and energetic toddlers. I try my best though! We made it through dear daughters eye exam (poor thing needs glasses, just like her mama) and managed to get home without tears. She was a brave little thing! She's very excited about getting her glasses in a few weeks.

Also I did manage to exercise! I did my slim-in-6 first workout (which means I wont be able to walk tomorrow). I also did about 15-20 minutes of the Wii Just Dance game (and then let the kids do the rest). I was sweating like a pig which was quite disgusting, and since I was only able to do about 10 of the 16 pushups on the video I know I'm way out of shape. They were girl pushups too! I guess we will see how it goes 6 weeks from now! :)

I over did it a little with the garlic bread during dinner. My head was pounding, I wanted to run away from my kids and hide upstairs, and instead of that I had a piece of garlic bread. And then another with dinner. Not a huge deal, but I feel a little icky from all the garlic. I had panko breaded tilapia (frozen from Costco, low in fat and damn good) and some asparagus (steamed, nothing on it). I used the left over asparagus to put on a salad for tomorrow.

Overall I guess it was a good day. I'm supposed to go to an awesome Roller Derby match tomorrow night, so that means trying to squeeze in exercise somewhere! The video is only 24 minutes long so I could do it right when I got home. Or if I get to bed on time I could do it when I got up (oh god, exercising at 4:30am...) I guess we will see!

So goodnight for now (no I am not going to bed, though I almost feel like I could).

I'm really gonna do it this time

Why hello, it has been quite a long while since I've blogged about anything! And now I'm promising to blog regularly. Blog about boring stuff like what I'm eating, how grumpy I am because I'm not eating In n Out burger (oooh animal fries, how I love thee) and how much I'm exercising (or supposed to be exercising). I had an eye opening experience yesterday and it has made me understand that damn it, something has just gotta give.

I was at my children's pediatric office and waiting in the exam room for dearest daughter to have her PE before starting school. On the back of the exam room door is a full length mirror. And to my absolute horror it showed me EVERY LITTLE EXPANDED INCH of my body. I sat there staring at myself before getting up and refusing to sit again. I saw how my stomach stuck out like an innertube around my body, how my arms stuck out from my body. I saw how huge my head looked (LOL, maybe I cant help this one, it is genetic you know). And btw, this is not me picking myself apart. This is pointing out the cold hard facts of how my body actually looks! Good god, I don't like it! I understand the whole "be happy with yourself" and "love yourself for how you are now" motto. I love myself. I am wonderful. I get it, I really do. I know that inside I am downright fantastic, but outside I have some work to do.

So here it is. Here is my promise to blog for 6 weeks straight. I know I will be the only one really reading this but at least its down where the world could see it if they wanted to. I'm starting my Slim-in-6 workout videos again today and damn it I am gonna stick to it. I'm also going to blog about everything that I eat, even if I'm falling off the health wagon and manage to escape to an In n Out somewhere. I'm gonna write it down whether or not I fail or succeed. It's a journey. It's not going to be perfect, but I'm going to try.

Starting with today:

I've had 2 cups of coffee (with half and half and splenda) and a banana. It's only 10am. I will expand more tonight after I've eaten more meals, dealt with grumpy kids (including a first time trip to the eye doctor for dearest daughter), and hopefully managed to get my exercise in before bedtime.

Good luck to me, young happy fat girl. Time for a big change! Lets see what 6 weeks will bring! Ooh, and I'm going to post my BEFORE picture today (I cant believe I'm doing this, I just cant believe it) so watch out! Lets keep our fingers (toes, eyes, etc) crossed and hope that in 6 weeks the AFTER picture looks like a rockin' hard-bodied (haha, hard body me?) goddess!

Ready, GO!

Addition:

I forgot to post my stats. Now other than the weight, these are old stats (from May 4th) and honestly I doubt I've changed much (inch wise) since then. Here goes:

wt: 208.6

Chest: 38"

Waist: 37.5"

R Bicep: 16.25"

L Bicep: 16"

R Thigh: 27.5"

L Thigh: 27"

Neck: 16.5"

And I'll try to get on the whole BEFORE picture. But for now just look at my FB pics, haha.